Ladies – 

I must start off by saying that I’m known as the “race joke police” within my group of friends.  When a guy friend of mine makes an even slightly racist joke, I get to hit him as hard as I can.  I think race jokes are sick, uncalled for and I don’t allow people to make them in front of me.  Now with that being said, I had the most embarrassing day full political incorrectness of my life.  I, in no way, intended to make fun of or offend anyone.  By the end of the day I just felt defeated and hung my head in shame as I left the office building.  With that disclaimer out of the way, here are the 2 race run-ins I had today. 

1) Asians  Today I was doing some training for my new position when a lady said, “That sounds like Matt Chee over there.”  Matt Chee is the guy who used to sit next to me at work and now lives in NYC.  He and I were very close so I would have known if he was in the office.  A few minutes later the same lady goes, “Look! It IS Matt Chee!”  I turn to see what she is talking about, and sure enough, Matt Chee is walking out the door to the elevator lobby with Steve.  I’m so angry that he hasn’t informed me of his visit that I drop my notebook and RUN toward the elevator lobby. I throw open the door and yell, “WHAT THE HELL?” at Matt.  As Matt turns towards me, I realize the Asian man in front of me is definitely NOT Matt. Instead, Steve is standing in front of me with a customer of his.  I turn bright red and say, “You are not Matt Chee. I’m so sorry, I thought you were an old coworker.” I closed the door to the lobby and returned to my entire floor laughing hysterically at me.  In my defense I wasn’t the only person who thought he looked like Matt.

2) African Americans A few weeks ago, I was talking to my friend Blake Coving*, who works for “Company D”, about how weird it would be to have someone else on Facebook with your name.  I searched Blake’s name and found out there was a black guy also named Blake Coving who also works for “Company D.”  Shockingly my friend Blake said they’ve never had an email mix up between the two of them.  We then proceeded to joke about ways to distinguish between the two of them. “Black Coving” was suggested and I, of course, reprimanded him for the joke. Today I got a Gchat message from Blake that “Black Blake” accidentally sent “White Blake” an email he meant for himself.  I didn’t believe Blake, so I had him forward me the email. This is what I got from “White Blake.”

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From: Coving, Blake E (US – Washington D.C.) <— “Black Blake”

To: Coving, Blake Owen (US – Dallas) <— “White Blake”

Subject: Preeza favorite

i on the other hand am addicted to hazelnut/french vanilla creamer…

cardamom tea + frenchvanilla creamer + 1/3 Splenda = Tea Heaven

_____________________________________________________________

From: “Coving, Blake Owen (US – Dallas)”

To: Coving, Blake E (US – Washington D.C.) 

Subject: RE: Preeza favorite

Hey boss,

Pretty sure you meant to send this to yourself instead of me…Don’t want you to forget your order.

I found this email hilarious because “Black Blake” was obviously trying to remind himself of Preeza’s favorite tea recipe. At this point an IT guy had logged onto my computer to download something so I couldn’t respond to “White Blake” on Gchat.  I decided to email him back from my phone with my response to the email.

_____________________________________________________________

From: Becca Bowhead

To: Coving, Blake Owen (US – Dallas); Coving, Blake E (US – Washington D.C.)

Subject: Re: Preeza favorite

That is the greatest email ever! I bet Peerza is his boo.

What I didn’t realize was that “White Blake” blind copied me on his response to “Black Blake.”  When I replied to “White Blake,” it went to “Black Blake” as well. You can see the evidence in the “To” line above.  Here is the email chain when I realized I copied “Black Blake.”

____________________________________________________________

From: “Coving, Blake Owen(US – Dallas)”

To: Becca Bowhead

Subject: RE: Preeza favorite

Dude…you totally replied to all.  SMOOTH MOVE

_____________________________________________________________

From: Becca Bowhead

To: “Coving, Blake Owen(US – Dallas)”

Subject: Re: Preeza favorite

Eff. I thought you forwarded that to me! Why did you cc me? He can see that!

_____________________________________________________________    

From: “Coving, Blake Owen (US – Dallas)”

To: Becca Bowhead

Subject: RE: Preeza favorite

Bahahahahahha.  No I blind copied you so he couldn’t see you, but you obviously blew our cover…  This email just continues to be more and more epic.

At this point I was freaking out that I had royally offended this guy who doesn’t have a clue who I am or how I got on his email to himself about his boo’s favorite.  “White Blake” emailed him to explain that I was on the email because I didn’t believe that there were 2 guys at the same company with the same name.  “Black Blake” did end up emailing me to tell me I was right, Preeza is his boo.  He included an LOL so I guess we have no hard feelings. I’m very sorr about the tea bag. 

“White Blake” thanked me multiple times for “making his day” and of course passed the story on to other friends.  Just when I thought I had heard the end of it, I got a text from a friend that said:

“Considering your actions today, I feel it is your responsibility to keep Big Mike in the running for American Idol. Please send as many text messages to 5702 and text the word “vote.”  I do not know if you are Catholic or not but consider this your penance. We will work on the Asian community tomorrow. Tonight you can work on the brothas by voting for Big Mike” 

And that is when I threw in the towel. Today officially defeated me. FML.

*Names changed to protect the innocent

I can't wait to see the movie Babies!

So you know it's a long week when it isn't until you are halfway through your workout and you realize your shorts are on backwards.  I wouldn't have even noticed except I had an itch on the back of my leg and thought hmmm I don't remember there being a Nike symbol on my shorts back there.  I looked at Clint and said I think I have my shorts on backwards and he goes oh well, no one can tell.  Of course, now I can tell and am pretty embarassed.  As I walked back to the locker room to turn them around is when I realized yep should have known when there was more room in the front and the back was kinda riding up my rear.  I just pray that everyone was so focused on their own physical fitness that they didn't notice.  What adds to this story is that once I return to the workout after I'm all right again.  It isn't until the very end that I say, hmm Clint your shirt is on inside out.  He looks down and says I don't care enough to go change it.  What a pair we are.  Luckily tomorrow is my 9/80 so I get to work from home.

I think I told you guys I went to a leadership workshop called the Power Pipeline… One of the discussion topics was "Busy"ness and how people wear busy as a badge or an excuse for not connecting with friends or family or for not listening to their own thoughts. This woman Sarah started talking about her strategy for taking time for herself. She said that she never listens to the radio when she's in the car. She just uses the time to think and be alone with her thoughts. She said that her best ideas came to her during that time in the car. So a thought occurred to me… I always have my best ideas in the bathroom… maybe that's because it's the only place I'm alone with my thoughts. I decided to share my aha moment with the entire room, needless to say people busted out laughing!

The good news is I spend a lot of time in the bathroom… probably why I have so many good ideas! But since this discovery I decided to turn the radio off in the car. Understandably, my commute is short but I do enjoy the time to just think, like my favorite thinker, BeccaBowhead!

Bad news. I can't find my white board 🙁  I saw it during the move and made sure to set it somewhere safe. I just can't remember where that safe place is.  This would have been a great weekend to resurrect it.  I even have an awesome marker for it.   

Since it's just the three of us reading this at this point, I don't have to go into detail about my shopping anxiety. So last weekend we went shopping for a dress for the wedding for me and some polo and dress shirts for Clint.  We hit up Banana Republic and hit the jackpot.  They were having 25% off everything in the store and it would stack on any promotion they had, then we ended up getting so much stuff we went ahead and signed up for the card that got us another 15% off so we got a pretty good deal.  Clint got a lot of stuff and some nice dress shirts that he could wear to their headquarters (he had a meeting there this week).  As he was shopping, I went to the ladies side and looked for dresses. I saw some things but nothing that I was confident enough to get on my own.  Thank God Clint said lets go look and he gave me a thumbs up/thumbs down on the ones I was iffy about.  So I went to try them on and the lady who let me into the dressing room put me in the handicap room because (read with a Spanish accent) "it have more room and he go in with you for good show"  I think we both blushed on that one.  Anyways, both dresses worked, one for the wedding and one just to have.  As we left Clint said "now that wasn't stressful was it."  And I thought, no actually it wasn't.  I was really happy when I sent the links to Becca online so she could see the choices and she liked!!  Success and I did it relatively pain free.  She recommended some shoes and I thought I can just pick some up on Friday morning before we fly out.  Super confident I head to DSW this morning armed with my iPhone that has the picture of the shoes Becca recommended.  I did great with the dress and I have a guide for the shoes, this is going to be a cakewalk.  Then I entered the store.  I think I walked up and down every aisle about 7 times.  I'm pretty sure that they had me on watch.  There were cute sandals just like the ones Becca pointed out but they were in black.  Cute peep toe heels like another recommendation were in bronze.  When I found brown sandals they were pretty casual.  My anxiety level is slowly rising as I turn each aisle.  I started thinking, I really should have just ordered online on Monday and been done with this.  So I finally find a pair that look sort of like ones Becca sent, the straps are a little thicker but that seems okay.  Where I got stuck was they had a back and an ankle strap.  So I'm like is that okay, is it not, I don't know.  Oh wait, I'll send a picture to Becca and she can let me know.  So I take a picture of the shoe (feeling like an idiot doing it but if it eases my mind, fine) and ask are these okay or no because of the back.  Send.  Then I look a little more and find some peep to shoes that are a really light brown.  So I take a picture of that and send, what about these but they are pretty light.  Send.  While I'm waiting to hear the beep of a text message I go to look at black flats for work.  I start down the aisles again.  Of course can't find any that I'm 100% sure would work.  I've been here for a pretty darn long time and I KNOW they are suspicious of me now.  Still no message.  I wonder if Becca is at lunch and doesn't have her phone, oh or maybe she's already on the flight.  What to do, what to do.  Oh heck, I'm gonna buy the first ones and if they aren't right, I'll be shopping for shoes Saturday morning.  It's not like anyone is going to expect me to be stylish.  Just bite the bullet and pay.  So I continue on with errands still a little apprehensive of my choice.  When I get back home I check my phone and I have three texts from Clint.  Text 1)Hah. No idea.  What the heck is he talking about?  Text 2) Seems like they are fine?  Maybe hes trying to text his mom? Text 3) They look like womens shoes, does that help?  Makes sense why Becca didn't reply.  Okay, I'm an idiot and I need help.