I must start off by saying that I’m known as the “race joke police” within my group of friends. When a guy friend of mine makes an even slightly racist joke, I get to hit him as hard as I can. I think race jokes are sick, uncalled for and I don’t allow people to make them in front of me. Now with that being said, I had the most embarrassing day full political incorrectness of my life. I, in no way, intended to make fun of or offend anyone. By the end of the day I just felt defeated and hung my head in shame as I left the office building. With that disclaimer out of the way, here are the 2 race run-ins I had today.
1) Asians Today I was doing some training for my new position when a lady said, “That sounds like Matt Chee over there.” Matt Chee is the guy who used to sit next to me at work and now lives in NYC. He and I were very close so I would have known if he was in the office. A few minutes later the same lady goes, “Look! It IS Matt Chee!” I turn to see what she is talking about, and sure enough, Matt Chee is walking out the door to the elevator lobby with Steve. I’m so angry that he hasn’t informed me of his visit that I drop my notebook and RUN toward the elevator lobby. I throw open the door and yell, “WHAT THE HELL?” at Matt. As Matt turns towards me, I realize the Asian man in front of me is definitely NOT Matt. Instead, Steve is standing in front of me with a customer of his. I turn bright red and say, “You are not Matt Chee. I’m so sorry, I thought you were an old coworker.” I closed the door to the lobby and returned to my entire floor laughing hysterically at me. In my defense I wasn’t the only person who thought he looked like Matt.
2) African Americans A few weeks ago, I was talking to my friend Blake Coving*, who works for “Company D”, about how weird it would be to have someone else on Facebook with your name. I searched Blake’s name and found out there was a black guy also named Blake Coving who also works for “Company D.” Shockingly my friend Blake said they’ve never had an email mix up between the two of them. We then proceeded to joke about ways to distinguish between the two of them. “Black Coving” was suggested and I, of course, reprimanded him for the joke. Today I got a Gchat message from Blake that “Black Blake” accidentally sent “White Blake” an email he meant for himself. I didn’t believe Blake, so I had him forward me the email. This is what I got from “White Blake.”
_____________________________________________________________
From: Coving, Blake E (US – Washington D.C.) <— “Black Blake”
To: Coving, Blake Owen (US – Dallas) <— “White Blake”
Subject: Preeza favorite
i on the other hand am addicted to hazelnut/french vanilla creamer…
cardamom tea + frenchvanilla creamer + 1/3 Splenda = Tea Heaven
_____________________________________________________________
From: “Coving, Blake Owen (US – Dallas)”
To: Coving, Blake E (US – Washington D.C.)
Subject: RE: Preeza favorite
Hey boss,
Pretty sure you meant to send this to yourself instead of me…Don’t want you to forget your order.
I found this email hilarious because “Black Blake” was obviously trying to remind himself of Preeza’s favorite tea recipe. At this point an IT guy had logged onto my computer to download something so I couldn’t respond to “White Blake” on Gchat. I decided to email him back from my phone with my response to the email.
_____________________________________________________________
From: Becca Bowhead
To: Coving, Blake Owen (US – Dallas); Coving, Blake E (US – Washington D.C.)
Subject: Re: Preeza favorite
That is the greatest email ever! I bet Peerza is his boo.
What I didn’t realize was that “White Blake” blind copied me on his response to “Black Blake.” When I replied to “White Blake,” it went to “Black Blake” as well. You can see the evidence in the “To” line above. Here is the email chain when I realized I copied “Black Blake.”
____________________________________________________________
From: “Coving, Blake Owen(US – Dallas)”
To: Becca Bowhead
Subject: RE: Preeza favorite
Dude…you totally replied to all. SMOOTH MOVE
_____________________________________________________________
From: Becca Bowhead
To: “Coving, Blake Owen(US – Dallas)”
Subject: Re: Preeza favorite
Eff. I thought you forwarded that to me! Why did you cc me? He can see that!
_____________________________________________________________
From: “Coving, Blake Owen (US – Dallas)”
To: Becca Bowhead
Subject: RE: Preeza favorite
Bahahahahahha. No I blind copied you so he couldn’t see you, but you obviously blew our cover… This email just continues to be more and more epic.
At this point I was freaking out that I had royally offended this guy who doesn’t have a clue who I am or how I got on his email to himself about his boo’s favorite. “White Blake” emailed him to explain that I was on the email because I didn’t believe that there were 2 guys at the same company with the same name. “Black Blake” did end up emailing me to tell me I was right, Preeza is his boo. He included an LOL so I guess we have no hard feelings. I’m very sorr about the tea bag.
“White Blake” thanked me multiple times for “making his day” and of course passed the story on to other friends. Just when I thought I had heard the end of it, I got a text from a friend that said:
“Considering your actions today, I feel it is your responsibility to keep Big Mike in the running for American Idol. Please send as many text messages to 5702 and text the word “vote.” I do not know if you are Catholic or not but consider this your penance. We will work on the Asian community tomorrow. Tonight you can work on the brothas by voting for Big Mike”
And that is when I threw in the towel. Today officially defeated me. FML.
*Names changed to protect the innocent